Saturday, September 16, 2006

A Fairytale

Once upon a time, there was a princess who was not a princess yet, because she lived in a tiny brown cottage with tall narrow windows between an ugly village and a scary forest. Until one day a herald came to her door and told her that the king wanted to adopt her. According to the herald's scroll, if she signed the dotted line at the bottom, she would be allowed to move into the palace. This was a very good bargain for the girl. So she signed the scroll, received the carbon copy, and became a princess.

On the back of the carbon copy were the directions to the castle: "Go outside and start walking down the road." It did not say to go north, south, east, or west. It didn't tell her what to pack or how long she would have to walk. This was a very weird first step. Besides, walking meant probably going through the scary forest. So the girl stayed in the tiny brown cottage. The problem was, the girl started to feel trapped: between the scary forest, the ugly village, and the cottage. When she was inside the cottage, she wanted to get out. When she was outside it, she stood frozen on the doorstep. When she was in the village, she looked longingly at the forest. And she never went in the forest. She started to hate everything and everyone. Really hate them. And she hated the world, and life in general, and the stupid piece of paper with her signature on it. And then she hated herself, for being trapped.

Until another day when she came home from the village and reached her hand to the doorknob of the cottage and found it was locked. There was a sign on the door that read: "I'm putting my foot down. You've dillydallied long enough. You have a choice: Start walking, or go in your tiny brown cottage and possibly never come out. Signed, The King. P.S. This door will unlock in three minutes."

The girl realized then that she had only three minutes to make a very important decision. And she also realized that the reason she had never taken the first step into the woods was because she was afraid that the piece of paper was a scam, the directions would make her wander in the wilderness all alone for years, and that when she finally arrived at the castle, the king would say, "I'm sorry, my dear, it was all a joke. You don't belong here in my special world. Go back to your ugly, nasty little world where you came from and think about your miserable life and how you can never get out of it."

The girl had three minutes to make her decision. She turned her back on the cottage and started walking.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Questions on My Wall

1) Does beauty matter?

2) Are there answers?

3) Am I chosen?

Make of these what you will. However, no pat answers are allowed. Also, no strictly anonymous comments (please include your name if you do not have a Blogger account).

Friday, September 01, 2006

What I Did This Summer

1) I did NOT finish my writing project. I abandoned it entirely. I am free, weightless.

2) I read Far From the Madding Crowd (beautiful) and Cold Comfort Farm (hilarious). Unfortunately, I'm stalled in Under the Greenwood Tree due to its incredible boringness.

3) I planned my future--about 38 times. What I actually end up doing in 2007 will probably be entirely different from anything I imagined this summer.

Here are the things I didn't predict I'd do this summer:

4) Take a counseling class. If you've never done this, do it. It will change your life.

5) Read Blue Like Jazz. If you've never read this, read it. It will also change your life.

And, here is the thing that my whole family was expecting but that was still incredibly hard:

6) My little brother went off to college.

Due to (4) and (5), I'm hoping that this blog will be a much more transparent account of myself during the coming year. I hope that instead of contriving to present an image of myself as I want you to see me, I will honestly share with you. And due to (6), I'm hoping that this blog will be a nice little nexus of the crossed paths of my family as we scatter to the corners of the earth.

(Oh, and check out my bug watch in the sidebar and my tweaked template. I'm finally figuring out HTML!)