Today I read one of those horrible articles that the internet seems to have been designed for, consisting of 40 tips for becoming as successful as the author: "How to Live a Full Life (and Leave Nothing on the Table) by 30." Yes, that's really the title. Normally I wouldn't publish a blog post in response, but because I managed to Come Down with a Chronic Illness (and Achieve Basically Nothing Else) by 30 and Am Currently Feeling the Aftereffects of One of the Treatments I Periodically Take, Which Causes Me to Feel High and Lose My Inhibitions, I'm just going to go for it. (Author's point #33: "Seriously, You Can Do Whatever You Want." Why thank you, young man, I think I will!)
The author's name is Ryan Holiday, and he has published several books. It sounds like he is also very wealthy, because note point #15, "Sooner Is Not Better," where he says he had a weird goal of becoming a millionaire by 25, but it didn't happen until after…
When I first got my Lyme diagnosis, I went to the library and
borrowed all the books on Lyme disease I could find (there were only
three, if I recall correctly). One book was the personal account of a
woman whose undiagnosed Lyme crossed her placenta and infected her
unborn son, who later died in childhood after horrific symptoms. That
book and a second featured images of magnified ticks, and I would peek
through the pages taking care not to accidentally touch the photographs.
I realized I might never have children. I returned the books to the
The third book was Biography of a Germ
by Arno Karlen, a scientific essay on the Lyme spirochete. I didn't
finish it because I took it back to the library as part of my
stop-scaring-myself-silly dragnet. But I remembered it fondly. The
author methodically explored the Lyme bacteria, Borrelia burdorferi,
as an organism in its own right, a marvel of evolutionary survival that
relies on a complex chain of ticks, small ani…
Recently a male friend read Paradise Lost, as part of a book group that was predominately women. How I would have loved to be a fly on that wall.
I told him what I always say to people reading Milton for the first time: He was an incredible poet, but a horrible man who who portrayed the mother of all humanity as a bimbo, perpetuating an offensive stereotype as some sort of religious reality. Oh, don't get me started on this guy. I become incoherent talking about him.
After the book club meeting, my friend texted me: You were right about Milton's Eve!
I laughed for a long time at that. Then I got to thinking. What if Eve had been created first, Adam had sinned first, and Milton had been a woman?
Reverse Paradise Lost
Note: Since I could not hope to parody Milton's splendid poetry, I have written this in play form. Please imagine that what follows is an excerpt of an entire work.
Book II. Eve: I have completed my monumental task of naming all the animals, and I have greatly e…