Today was one of those days. Projects didn't get done; I was sick; the house was full of activity and disorienting; there was conflict at dinner and I cried in front of everyone. On the flip side, I went on a beautiful walk this morning, I spent little money on a big purchase, the most important project did get done, I made beets for dinner and beets make me happy, and we watched the first episode of Bleak House tonight.
Let me tell you a little secret. I'm a control freak. Oh, wait, you have that problem too? And days like today drive me crazy. Everything's out of control, including me. The most painful part of a day like today is the moment when I realize that God wants me to let go, not hang on. It feels like I'm loosing my grip on a sturdy branch and letting myself spin down into a whirlpool.
I don't like His way of doing things. It's messy and painful and it's not the way I would do it! But there's a part of me that knows life is supposed to be beautiful and risky, and I'm forced to admit that His way is much more extraordinary than mine. It's like reading a really unpredictable story - you know there's genius behind it.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
- Everybody reads Rebecca. Daphne Du Maurier's House on the Strand delivers in just the same way - evocative and slightly creepy.
- My sister and I just got back from visiting friends in Florida. We went to the beach a lot, drank way too much tea (is there such a thing? Well, I'm still trying to give up my daily third cup), and talked. And talked. And talked. I think I know what heaven will be like.
- Richard John Neuhaus's Death on a Friday Afternoon took me months to read, but it was worth it. He teeters on the brink of universalism and his writing is cumbersome - just ignore all that.
- I had to go all the way to Florida to get a motorcycle ride - make that two, since we switched bikes at one point. It was a nice long ride that made up for the four years since my last one. Also, it was my first time on a crotch rocket. It was surprisingly easy to stay balanced, so there's absolutely no excuse for those girls you see clinging like ivy to the backs of their rocket-riding men. They just want to hug someone.
- Finding God, Larry Crabb: Read. This. Book.
Posted by Lee Ann at 12:53 PM