Saturday, February 27, 2010

First Things First

I wonder if, to truly rest and be satisfied in God, you have to submit to Him before demanding satisfaction. I seem to expend so much energy crying out, "Prove Yourself. Before I will trust You with my life, You must prove You are trustworthy, prove You'll do right by me." The problem is, God can't possibly pour Himself into us when we are closed off to Him. It's a lose-lose situation, until we give in and go to the only source that can fill us.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Love and Cabin Fever

It's the third day of being snowed in. On the first day, I saw the weekend through a sentimental haze: family time, playing in the snow, watching movies, cozily talking and sipping tea. Now I just want out. All our worst qualities are emerging and are magnified.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the two greatest commandments: Love God and love your neighbor. How often I distract myself from them with grand questions. How do I serve God? What is my calling? Who will I marry? What great things should I achieve today? Wonderful questions, indeed. They make me feel important and allow me to focus my energy on my own satisfaction.

It's when I try to answer the real questions that things get painful. How can I love God today? How can I love others? So often that means small things that I don't want to do. Review a Bible verse. Refuse to complain. Help with the dishes. Be patient with my siblings.

Why is it that the hardest things are the humblest, and why is God so adamant that we do them? Maybe because love - true love - is our highest calling, but it also goes completely against our human nature. But how freeing and comforting to know that by choosing to do the smallest things, I am obeying God and allowing Him to continue shaping me into His Son's likeness.